Wait a minute. We’d better try that again. I sound like my human when she’s been raiding the wine cellar.
Let’s try a picture instead.
There. That's better.
My name is Ruby and this is my blog.
I can just imagine all those eyebrows being raised. A golden retriever with a blog? Isn’t that a bit odd? Well, let me reassure you. It may be odd in your world, but stranger things have happened in mine, believe me. For example, sometime in the dim and distant past, somebody thought my human drove the car well enough to pass her test and get a licence. Now THAT, my friends, is strange. Not to mention dangerous. A golden retriever with a blog is almost normal compared to what she’s capable of doing with a Toyota. I kid you not.
So what’s a golden retriever doing with a blog? Simple, really. A couple of years ago, my human’s mate bought her a weird black box that clicks and churns out pictures. Ever since, she’s been following me around like a demented Ansel Adams wanna-be in a skirt, clicking away and giving orders. Ruby, look this way. Ruby, get the stick. Ruby, smile for the camera. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. It’s enough to drive a dog to distraction. If only she knew how silly she looks, she might think twice about it. Or maybe not; in my experience, it’s best not to overestimate a human’s capacity for rational thought. Anyway, when she’s not stalking me, she keeps the black box zipped away in a big bag. Thinks it’s safe that way. But let me tell you, one of these days when she’s not looking, it’s going to become the world’s most expensive chew toy. If she thinks I’m going to spend the rest of my life being a hairy version of Cindy Crawford, she can think again … However, until I can get my teeth into it, she needs somewhere to put her pictures. And what does she do when she wants something? You got it – she gives me orders. Ruby, write a blog. So here it is.
I hope you’ll check in from time to time. It’ll make a nice change to interact with humans other than the obsessive creature who shares my den.
So what’s a golden retriever doing with a blog? Simple, really. A couple of years ago, my human’s mate bought her a weird black box that clicks and churns out pictures. Ever since, she’s been following me around like a demented Ansel Adams wanna-be in a skirt, clicking away and giving orders. Ruby, look this way. Ruby, get the stick. Ruby, smile for the camera. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. It’s enough to drive a dog to distraction. If only she knew how silly she looks, she might think twice about it. Or maybe not; in my experience, it’s best not to overestimate a human’s capacity for rational thought. Anyway, when she’s not stalking me, she keeps the black box zipped away in a big bag. Thinks it’s safe that way. But let me tell you, one of these days when she’s not looking, it’s going to become the world’s most expensive chew toy. If she thinks I’m going to spend the rest of my life being a hairy version of Cindy Crawford, she can think again … However, until I can get my teeth into it, she needs somewhere to put her pictures. And what does she do when she wants something? You got it – she gives me orders. Ruby, write a blog. So here it is.
I hope you’ll check in from time to time. It’ll make a nice change to interact with humans other than the obsessive creature who shares my den.
See you later. I’m off back to sleep. A dog needs to conserve its energy; being a canine supermodel is hard work.
